I thought social networking was supposed to help me feel supported, but kept finding it caused more problems than it solved. This poem is a response to the realization that the only issues I can address are my own, and admitting the ugly truth gets me a lot further than self pity.
I am grateful the friend who inspired this poem still has me on her friend list, but I'm afraid it's only because she doesn't know. Do you think I should tell her?
-s
Facebook Friend
Your life:
a thrilling series of
intense-color photos
smiling children
loving adults
living in present
moment
delighting in here
gorgeous
your eyes green
lips shiny
even pretty when you
sweat
meals with friends
parties with family
photographs of taking
photographs of everyday pleasures
you drive with the
windows down
you live with your soul
open
you laugh with your
mouth wide
and eyes shut tight
my life:
over-calculated status
updates
that wax philosophical
and esoteric
to avoid criticism
and engineer a cool
facade
I am a clenched fist of
fear
looking for just
one way to be
better than
seeing your beauty
brings out my beast
and I am ashamed of
myself
again
The poem was first published in the literary journal 3R: The Rock River Review, Spring 2012 edition.
